Traveling with Wife or Dog?

Who is the better traveling partner?


Pros to traveling with wife

My Wife Suzette
  • Wife doesn’t drool on the seat
  • Wife is sexy
  • Wife doesn’t smell water three miles away and beg to go swimming EVERY SINGLE TIME
  • Wife is softer
  • Wife is warmer
  • Wife doesn’t bark out windows
  • Wife really makes me laugh
  • Wife doesn’t snore
  • Wife has ways to keep me awake on the road at night
  • Wife doesn’t randomly itch and snort uncontrollably in the middle of the night
  • Wife smells better
  • Wife is nicer to look at
  • Wife doesn’t hog the entire bed
  • Wife can hand me things while I’m driving
  • Wife is a good conversationalist
  • Wife points out cool stuff to see that
  • Wife shares memories later
  • Wife doesn’t shove her feet and nails into my back while I’m sleeping
  • Wife throws Frisbees back
  • Wife is entertaining
  • Wife doesn’t get fleas
  • Wife doesn’t need to sneak into hotel rooms

Pros to traveling with dog




  • Dog food is cheaper than wife food
  • Dog is extremely patient
  • Dog is fine only visiting my side of the family every single time
  • Dog is a GREAT listener
  • Dog is fine with all my bad decisions
  • Dog can get ready in 3.2 seconds
  • Dog never complains
  • Dog only goes when we stop instead of we stop for him to go
  • Dog doesn’t mind if we pull over for photography every 35 minutes
  • Dog is never mad at me
  • Dog scares bad people away (wife attracts them)
  • Dog will sleep next to me in the car overnight
  • Dog sees no wrong
  • Dog doesn’t need A/C or heat
  • Dog doesn’t care if we’re late
  • Dog plays Frisbee for hours
  • Dog doesn’t hog the covers
  • Dog is never offended
  • Dog always thinks I’m the greatest thing since cheese stuffed pizza crust