Bags of Men: Know Your Enemy Edition

 

by Nick Bridwell, infographic by Brian Griffith

 

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If you are a man of some style and substance, odds are you probably need to cart around more than what will fit in your pockets. It’s okay, men have been sporting bags for thousands of years.

No matter the variety of bag you choose, you will no doubt encounter opposition. This most often comes in the form of sarcastic statements like “What’s up with your murse?” or “Hey, Sally, where’d you get your man purse?” I’ve heard many varieties.

Let’s face it, those unsolicited comments come from the folks who generally wouldn’t know style or function if it hit them in the junk. And you can spot them from a mile away. You know what, I’ll accept my bag as a “man purse” if they will accept being spotted for these alternative ways to carry their things:

 

The Zoot Suiter- You can spot a Zoot Suiter, because his pockets are filled to the brim and this makes his pants puff out like a 1940s gangster. It’s amazing what a grown man can fit in his pockets. Tablet, cell phone, chainsaw, the cast of the Sopranos. This is the same dude who gives you a hard time for using a Satchel, all the while he’s sporting blue jeans that have suddenly turned into parachute pants. Your comeback: “Where’d you get those pants, Al Capone’s estate sale?”

 

The Cat’s Cradler – This is the dude you see walking around constantly with a handful of wires, clothes, papers, computer cords, all tucked in and out of his arms like he’s playing the childhood game Cat’s Cradle. From far away, if you squint, the Cat’s Cradler sort of looks like Pig-Pen from the Peanuts cartoon strip, because there’s this weird tangle of junk all around him. The Cat’s Cradler can often be spotted ogling leather briefcases and saying, “I bought my wife one of those.” He didn’t and he want yours. Your comeback is classy and charitable. Just look at his pile of junk and say:  “I’m sorry, can I help you with that?”

 

The Be-Right-Backer: The BRB-er is a little more savvy than the Zoot Suiter or the Cat’s Cradler.  He doesn’t want to be seen burdened with all of his necessities. Therefore, he just keeps his stuff at his desk or in his truck. So, the BRB-er will most likely tell you. “I don’t know why all of you guys need to carry around man purses. I get by fine.” Then, he’ll disappear for ten minutes into the 112-degree summer to fetch a notebook he left in his 145-degree truck. Your comeback: “Man, what took you so long? I had a beer in my bag for you, but I got bored and drank it.”

 

These are just a few of the natural opponents of the awesome leather bags we make here at Saddleback Leather. Next time they call you out, check and see if they are a Zoot Suiter, a Cat’s Cradler, or a BRBer. Sometimes, you even get a combo.

Oh, and be sure to point out that men have been carrying bags for thousands of years and show them this sick infographic.

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