3 Tips for Surviving Pokemon Go

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By Nick Bridwell

For those of you who were visiting another planet in the late 90s, Pokemon are Japanese “pocket monsters”; amalgamations of different creatures both fantastical and historical. The original video games spawned a TV show, multiple movies, action figures, beach towels, toilet plungers and toothbrushes. This month, Nintendo (the geniuses behind Mario Brothers) released Pokemon Go, a brand new game for mobile phones. And the world will never be the same.

The game uses GPS and your phone’s camera to send you on quests around your neighborhood–yes the real world!– to find the 151 original Pokemon and capture them in your phone. After playing the game for two weeks, I am now determined that Nintendo wants to get me fired. So, Here are 3 Tips to Surviving the Workweek While Playing Pokemon Go.

  1. Charge

I went out for coffee earlier in the week so that I could clear my head in a clean workspace. That’s an outright fib. I went so I could catch Pikachu at the bookstore down the street. Anyway, I caught the little bugger. Even if it did take 45 minutes to find him in the shopping center.  But, when it came time for me to dial in to a conference call, my phone was dead as a doornail. If you’re keeping score, that’s: 1 Pikachu Caught; 1 Conference Call Missed. Don’t forget to bring a charger if you wanna catch ‘em all, because Pokemon Go is a battery zapper.

  1. Think Before You Snap

Posting snapshots of your newest Pokemon is fun. I’ve captured a Pincer, Drowzee, and Pidgeot in the nearby park, a Hydra in the pool, and a Bulbasaur near our favorite downtown pub. All of those catches went quite swimmingly. Awesome! You know what’s not awesome? Tracking a Squirtle to a grocery store parking lot and having to awkwardly explaining that you’re taking pictures of small anthropomorphic sea turtle and not taking pictures of a middle-aged stay-at-home-dad while he’s putting his groceries away. Awkward Squirtle. Do yourself a favor and take a look around before you start your new photographic essay on your favorite Pokemon.

  1. Be Evolved

Pokemon Go is an innovative concept. It’s a video game that gets people out into the community. That being said, the environment hasn’t evolved quite at the same pace of video games. In the old school Pokemon games, you would walk to a river’s edge and have to select “Swim” in order to actually go swimming. This is the real world, yo! Look up from your screen or you might literally end up: a.) Backstroking with Blastoise b.) Roadkill with Rattata or, c.) Walking into Walls for a Weedle. Look before you leap!

I’ve got a hot lead on a Charmander, so I’m outta here.

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